im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
