these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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