im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
