yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
