idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
