this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
