I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
