i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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