Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
