The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
