Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
