I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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