im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
