She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
