I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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