butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
