I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
