I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
