I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
In America we eat man semen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
