They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Let's paint friendship bongs
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Why is there bacon in the couch?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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