I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
