just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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