That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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