my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
