I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
