I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
