Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
