I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
