I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
