oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
