If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I can text with my tongue
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Enjoy the penises
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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