Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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