I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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