HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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