if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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