You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
