I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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