Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
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