what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
