woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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