I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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