The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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