I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
