I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
