kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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