what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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