I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
