but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
