After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
