I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
